Exclusive: Opponent Clarifies Which Armpit He’s Using for His Graveyard
After a request from a confused opponent, local Modern tournament regular, Tim “Always Scam” Thompson clarified which of his armpits…
Bludgeoned Enemy NPC Unconscious Due to Serious, Life Threatening Brain Damage
In a bewildering tragedy, an enemy NPC has been thrust into a perilous coma after a bludgeoning from the protagonist,…
Bye-Bye Judge Academy: WotC to Replace Event Judges with Life-Sized Anthropomorphic Cards Who Moan Until You Buy Stuff
Wizards of the Coast has announced that they will be replacing all human judges at events with anthropomorphic versions of…
Local Game Stores Now Accept Black Market Organs in Exchange for Disney Lorcana Product
In a groundbreaking business model shift, local game stores across the nation have begun accepting black market organs as valid…
Players Can Now Return Unwanted Magic: The Gathering Cards to be Placed In New Booster Packs and Sold Back To Them
In a groundbreaking initiative that is sure to be hailed as the epitome of sustainability and definitely not a sly…
Breaking: JRPG Protagonist’s Sword a Reasonable Size
In an unprecedented move, the latest JRPG features a protagonist whose sword is, against all odds, a reasonable size. The…
Ahsoka Season Finale to Reveal New Character with Normal Eye Color
In a stunning revelation that has sent shockwaves throughout the Star Wars fanbase, sources close to the production of the…
Starfield Player Discovers Hidden Planet Filled with All the Dildos Developers Removed from Cyberpunk 2077
Cyberpunk 2077’s launch was rife with controversy, but also a massive number of dildos. Due to the overwhelming quantity, developers…
What to Do When Ajani Inevitably Puts His Anus Right Up in Your Face
Every cat owner knows the feeling. Out of nowhere, you find yourself face-to-face with your feline’s rear end. Ajani might…
Pro Tip: Save Money on a Deck Box by Entrusting Your Cards to Pit Demon ch’Dulth
If you’re on the hunt for a new deck box to safeguard your fresh commander deck for storage and transport,…