Panda Who Switched Diet from Bamboo to Magic: The Gathering Cards Suddenly Down to Fuck
In an unexpected turn of events, Zhen Zhen, a previously listless panda at the San Diego Zoo, has undergone a…
Cast of Naruto Asks If They’re ‘Gonna Have to Be Magic: The Gathering Cards Too’
In a dimension-bending turn of events, the animated cast of the beloved series “Naruto” has reportedly reached out to their…
Inclusivity Win: Wizards of the Coast R&D Hire Smart Toaster as Head of Design
In a groundbreaking move celebrated as a significant step toward workplace inclusivity, Wizards of the Coast (WotC) announced their newest…
Local Gamer Finishes Cyberpunk 2077, Wears Toasters as Gloves and Calls Everyone ‘Choom’
Emerging from a marathon 400-hour session of Cyberpunk 2077, local gamer Jamie Thompson startled friends and family by donning toasters…
RPG Monster Academy Stresses Importance of Waiting in Line, Taking Turns
DreadHorde Preparatory Academy, the quintessential institution for the budding RPG monster, has been under fire from parents due to its…
MTG’s New ‘Play Boosters’ Include List Cards, More Rares, Pair of Arms that Hold You Upside Down to Shake Money From Your Pockets
Monday, October 13th, Wizards of the Coast unveiled its latest Magic: The Gathering product. Traditional Set and Draft Boosters will…
Official Marvel Snap Rulebook Just a Single Page with “It Just Works That Way” Written at the Top
Second Dinner plan to release an official Marvel Snap rulebook, which in a surprising yet oddly fitting move, consists of…
MTG Influencer Announces ‘This Board Wipe is Brought to You by Charmin’
Yet another mainstay of the MTG influencer sphere has announced they plan on coaxing their legions of adoring fans into…
Bronies Release Handy Guide for Cleaning Protein Stains Off Magic: The Gathering’s “My Little Pony” Cards for No Reason in Particular
A prominent group of Bronies has released a meticulously detailed guide on how to remove protein stains from the limited…
cEDH Therapist Urges Patients Struggling with Mental Health to ‘Git Gud’
Dr. Martha Richards, a licensed therapist and avid cEDH player, has unveiled a revolutionary therapeutic approach to help her patients…