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Magic: The Gathering

  • Magic: The Gathering

Breaking: New Ability Creates Artifact Token with Old Ability

If rumors are to be trusted, anonymous sources inside Magic: The Gathering’s R&D team have leaked plans for a brand-new…

  • Magic: The Gathering

Ouch: Magic Card Gonna Mulligan Down to Six People After Drawing Your Useless Ass

In a humiliating turn of events that’s rattled the ego of Magic: The Gathering players everywhere, a sentient Magic card…

  • Magic: The Gathering

Graveyard-Bound Creature Asked What It Was Wearing At The Time

A graveyard-bound creature card was reportedly questioned about its attire at the time of its ‘demise’ during a recent Friday…

  • Magic: The Gathering

Panda Who Switched Diet from Bamboo to Magic: The Gathering Cards Suddenly Down to Fuck

In an unexpected turn of events, Zhen Zhen, a previously listless panda at the San Diego Zoo, has undergone a…

  • Magic: The Gathering

Cast of Naruto Asks If They’re ‘Gonna Have to Be Magic: The Gathering Cards Too’

In a dimension-bending turn of events, the animated cast of the beloved series “Naruto” has reportedly reached out to their…

  • Magic: The Gathering

Inclusivity Win: Wizards of the Coast R&D Hire Smart Toaster as Head of Design

In a groundbreaking move celebrated as a significant step toward workplace inclusivity, Wizards of the Coast (WotC) announced their newest…

  • Magic: The Gathering

MTG’s New ‘Play Boosters’ Include List Cards, More Rares, Pair of Arms that Hold You Upside Down to Shake Money From Your Pockets

Monday, October 13th, Wizards of the Coast unveiled its latest Magic: The Gathering product. Traditional Set and Draft Boosters will…

  • Magic: The Gathering

MTG Influencer Announces ‘This Board Wipe is Brought to You by Charmin’

Yet another mainstay of the MTG influencer sphere has announced they plan on coaxing their legions of adoring fans into…

  • Magic: The Gathering

Bronies Release Handy Guide for Cleaning Protein Stains Off Magic: The Gathering’s “My Little Pony” Cards for No Reason in Particular

A prominent group of Bronies has released a meticulously detailed guide on how to remove protein stains from the limited…

  • Magic: The Gathering

Exclusive: Opponent Clarifies Which Armpit He’s Using for His Graveyard

After a request from a confused opponent, local Modern tournament regular, Tim “Always Scam” Thompson clarified which of his armpits…

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We have a bad case of the shirts.


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The Bored Card is unofficial Fan Content permitted under the Fan Content Policy. Not approved/endorsed by Wizards. Portions of the materials used are property of Wizards of the Coast. ©Wizards of the Coast LLC.
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