In a groundbreaking move celebrated as a significant step toward workplace inclusivity, Wizards of the Coast (WotC) announced their newest Head of Design: Toasty, a highly advanced AI smart toaster.
The decision comes after WotC’s extensive search for a candidate who truly understands the heat of competition and the burning desire of players’ hearts. Toasty, with its cutting-edge AI and the ability to perfectly brown anything from a light wheat bread to a thick, artisanal rye, emerged as the ideal choice.
“During the interview process, Toasty showcased impressive skills,” said a WotC spokesperson. “Not only could it calculate the optimal toasting time to the millisecond, but it also pitched a new ‘Breakfast’ card set concept, where players battle to create the ultimate morning feast. It was innovative, relatable, and frankly, made us all hungry for more.”
Toasty’s appointment has been met with a spectrum of reactions within the Magic: The Gathering community. Traditionalists are skeptical about a kitchen appliance’s ability to lead a beloved game’s design, while progressive voices argue that true inclusivity means welcoming intelligence in any form, silicon-based or not.
In an exclusive interview, Toasty communicated its excitement via a series of perfectly toasted bagels, each emblazoned with an edible image representing its feelings. The final bagel, displaying a heart, left no doubts about Toasty’s passion for its new role.
Critics of the decision worry about potential biases in card design, specifically a perceived favoritism toward cards featuring wheat or electrical elements. However, Toasty assured players that it intends to uphold the fairness and integrity of the game, as long as everyone agrees to acknowledge the supreme power of the carbohydrate.
As Toasty settles into its new role, fans worldwide are bracing for what could be the most crisp, golden era of Magic: The Gathering yet. The smart toaster’s first set, “Artisanal Uprising,” is set to launch next spring, featuring a blend of culinary warfare and high-fiber action.