Breaking: JRPG Protagonist’s Sword a Reasonable Size

In an unprecedented move, the latest JRPG features a protagonist whose sword is, against all odds, a reasonable size. The character, named Kai, wields a weapon that is not only proportional to her body but also recognizes the laws of physics.

The game, Chronicles of The Blade of Adequacy introduces Kai, a warrior princess who, instead of hauling around a sword three times her size and weight, brandishes a modest, realistically proportioned weapon along with breasts that make sense for her body type.

Social media platforms within the gaming community are awash with perplexed comments and memes, all addressing the bold design choices implemented in the game.

One gamer commented, “I kept expecting Kai to unveil a massively oversized sword from another dimension or something. But no, she uses a regular sword, something someone of her stature might realistically wield. While I understand the pursuit of realism, having all my party members perish from infected monster wounds during the tutorial felt overly harsh.”

In a press release, the game’s developer, Prosaic Games, explained their design philosophy.

“It’s crucial for gamers to admire an RPG’s protagonist, which in contemporary contexts means they need to exude big dick energy, regardless of gender. There are numerous iconic RPG characters who are clearly compensating for something. For instance, if your character starts the game with a lifted truck mount…”

Prosaic Games also detailed the game’s premise, in which both of Kai’s parents survive throughout the entire plot—a narrative devoid of crystals and featuring an endgame boss that maintains a single form.