MCU Halts Production on the Marvel Snap ‘Rock’ Adaptation Due to Rumors of Substrate Abuse and Sexual Basalt

In a sneak peek trailer for phase seventeen—or whatever number we’re on—the MCU hinted at an adaptation for Marvel Snap’s iconic character, Rock. Not long after the reveal, rumors circulated of a halt in production due to allegations of the star’s spiraling substrate abuse and run-ins with sexual basalt.

“Rock is a character you wouldn’t expect to emerge as a beloved fan-favorite,” said Kevin Feige. “Since we’re already using Marvel Snap as a vehicle to promote every MCU production, we decided to use Marvel Snap’s data to determine which characters are due for a completely forgettable mini-series on Disney+. Surprisingly, we saw more of Rock in-game than any other character by a large margin. Though we never ascertained why Rock appeared so frequently. Instead, we began production immediately.”

The show’s producers caught wind of the star’s issues early on in production.

“Like She-Hulk, we were going the comedic route. The idea was simple: since Rock likes to take up space while adding nothing of importance, we went head-on into the dichotomy of a lie about, do-nothing stoner, but played by The Rock. An invariable comedic goldmine. To be clear, the fact that Dwayne Johnson’s ring name happens to also be the name of lead character is merely a coincidence. However, The Rock began to notice Rock was having . . . issues when studying with him for the role.”

Dwayne Johnson commented on the impact the issues his rock ‘n roll model had on him.

“You can chalk it up to fame, but addiction can get the best of us,” said Johnson. “This is one of those iconic roles for me, as a fan of Rock it’s like I’m a kid again. When someone you look up to is having a hard time your first instinct is to do anything you can. These kinds of problems though… no one can help until Rock is ready to help himself. I wish him the best on his journey. It’s going to be a difficult path.”

In the end, the MCU decided to halt production indefinitely, after a violent incident where Rock claimed his talent was being taken for granite.

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