Relationship Red Flag: His Tapped Cards Are Never Sideways Enough
UPSTATE, N.Y. – Local woman Julie Carter has recently identified a new, potentially relationship-ending red flag: her new boyfriend’s irritating…
2024
Move Over White: Wedding Guest Dressed in Colossal Dreadmaw Steals Spotlight from Bride
QUEENS, N.Y. – A Queens wedding took an unexpected turn when guest, Christina Miles arrived dressed in Colossal Dreadmaw, clearly…
Father Quick to Point Out Son’s New Girlfriend Dies To Doom Blade
QUEENS, N.Y. — Local man Mark Stevens rolled his eyes after his father, Magic: The Gathering boomer Todd Stevens, was…
So Long High Roll: Deck with Highest Secondary Market Value Now Plays First
In a move set to upend the time-worn tradition of a coin-flip to determine who plays first, Wizards of the…
Marvel Snap’s Healthcare System Boasts 1-in-4 Chance of Receiving Correct Treatment
Bob Phillips was set to receive care from Marvel Snap’s new free healthcare system to treat his soon-to-rupture appendix. While…
Reading is for Nerds: How One Man Avoids The Label by Guessing Card Text Based on its Picture
Toledo, OHIO — Local hip dude, Bryan Wilcox discovered a foolproof method of staying cool in the eyes of his…
Deck Box Displaces Shelf’s Last Remaining Family Photo
Local MTG nerd Gary Perkins displaced the last remaining family photo on the living room shelf to make space for…
Wizards of the Coast Announces Plans to Relocate Card’s Mana Cost to the Crotch
Wizards of the Coast announced a drastic change to the structure of a Magic: The Gathering card. Historically, a card’s…
Drafting a ‘Go Use the Zipline’ Card Made Me Fall In Love with Limited Again
Local Magic: The Gathering player, Sam Thompson, rekindled his love for Limited after drafting a card that instructs players to…
Petition to Make Universes Beyond Set Based on the Life of John Matthews of Warwick, Rhode Island Swells to Fifty Thousand Signatures
MTG fans everywhere are calling for Wizards of the Coast to give John Matthews of Warwick, RI his own Universes…