A new study has found that an increasing number of millennials are opting for birthday cakes featuring the well-defined abs of Oko, a planeswalker from Magic: The Gathering.
“I never expected to be thirsty for cake,” explained Jake Jeffries, a 30-year-old MTG enthusiast who was surprised during his birthday party with an Oko’s-abs cake. “But that six pack lit my birthday candles if you know what I mean. The only downside is that no one at the party wanted any cake after I began licking his washboard. Which I guess isn’t a downside if you’re me.”
Bakeries are taking note of this peculiar request.
Local bakeries are reporting a surprising uptick in requests for custom cakes featuring the likeness of Oko’s abs. “At first, we thought it was a one-off joke,” said Marie LeBoulanger, owner of Sweet, Street Bakery. “But now we’re getting a lot of requests. In fact, someone just called to request a ‘Brad Pitt in Fight Club’ design. You could tell they were really enthusiastic due to all the heavy breathing.”
Dr. Wiliam Simmons explains the reasoning behind the trend.
“Abs are overrated,” said Michael Jenkins. “Some people see health and discipline when they see a rock-hard stomach. I see someone with way too much time on their hands who tortures themselves for aesthetics. I’d rather have Chud McWilting’s gut on top of my cake since it would literally mean more cake. Unless the baker made him out of fondant, in which case, blergh.”