If rumors are to be trusted, anonymous sources inside Magic: The Gathering’s R&D team have leaked plans for a brand-new ability that creates an artifact token with an old ability.
“People may think we’ve run out of new ideas and started rummaging through the proverbial attic,” chuckled our anonymous source. “On the contrary, we have so many new ideas we’ve had to write them down on a sheet of paper. Like this one for instance: Equestria. It creates a Trojan Horse artifact token with the ability to pay 1 and sack it to give all your creatures Horsemanship.”
The announcement was made via a cryptic tweet that featured an image of a rusted artifact with the caption, “Everything old is new again… and again… and again.” This was followed by a series of emojis that left players wondering if there was a hidden meaning of if they simply don’t understand how Gen Z flirts in 2023.
“We may be planning an artifact token with ‘pay 1 and sack it to give one of your creatures Banding,'” continued the anonymous poster in the comments. “You may wonder why anyone would use such an unpopular mechanic, though we’re also adding a second line of text to the token that says, ‘if all players don’t understand banding feel free to ignore this ability.’ It’s a fine compromise.”
Additional rumors surfaced surrounding MTG’s plans to futureproof its mechanics to keep the endless releases as fresh as possible.
“We’re aware that we will eventually run out of new artifact tokens to trigger old abilities, which is why we’re implementing a system that will allow us to create an endless number of new abilities. In short, the plan is to create a new ability which creates an artifact token which then creates another artifact token to trigger an older, evergreen ability. In other words, we’ll have an ability like “Vampire Bae” which creates like a “Fangs” artifact token, which itself creates a Blood token, which in itself is just a fancy way of looting.”
Our source told us they were excited for the future, and how 100 years from now we’ll have tokens that create tokens that create tokens that give haste or whatever.