In a shocking display of survival priorities, a group of stranded Magic: The Gathering players unanimously voted to eject one of their own from their life raft during a harrowing ordeal at sea. The reason? The power level of his Commander deck was deemed insufficiently competitive.
The incident occurred after a casual cruise expedition turned dire, leaving the passengers adrift in the ocean. To maintain morale, the group, all members of the same MTG playgroup, decided to pass the time with some friendly Commander games. However, the mood soured rapidly when one player, known only as Dave, revealed his deck.
“We’re fighting for our lives here, and Dave comes to the table with a pre-constructed deck from 2016,” explained Sarah, the group’s unofficial leader and owner of the raft. “We’re all here trying to keep our spirits up with some high-level play, and he basically brings a knife to a gunfight. It’s demoralizing.”
The final straw came when Dave’s turn dragged on with no impactful plays or any signs of a coherent strategy, sapping the already dwindling hope from the other players. A quick caucus was held, and the decision was made: Dave and his ‘casual’ deck had to go.
“It’s about group dynamics,” justified Mike, another player. “We need to keep our spirits high and minds sharp for the challenges ahead. Dead weight, in deck form or otherwise, is just not conducive to survival.”
As Dave paddled away on a makeshift flotation device of deck boxes and draft chaff, the remaining players turned their attention back to the game at hand, determined to keep the competitive spirit alive amidst adversity.
“We wish him the best,” commented Sarah, shuffling her tier-one deck. “Hopefully, this will teach him the importance of proper threat assessment, both in-game and in life.”
Rescue teams, alerted by a message in a bottle containing a very explicit decklist, are currently en route to the scene. They have been forewarned to expect high-level gameplay and no mercy for suboptimal card choices.