Many Magic: The Gathering players ask the question, “Will these card sleeves protect my cards while playing a game of Magic: The Gathering, Pokémon, or other trading card game on top of a piping hot, freshly baked pepperoni pizza?”
While it’s common for enthusiasts of trading card games to use a playmat to protect their investment, there’s no better way to establish dominance before the game begins by whipping out a steaming pizza instead. Slapping your overpriced secret lair versions down upon a concoction of bubbling cheese and oozing grease may be inconceivable to some, but for those who want to dominate the board through diversionary tactics, confusion, and feigned psychosis it is an ideal way to mess with the heads and stomachs of adversaries.
To succeed using culinary contrivance, you ensure your cards are well protected. Though cardboard and pizza go hand in hand like cats and ovens, cards slapping the cheese bareback will quickly disintegrate into useless mush, a grade several steps down from “damaged”. As such, double-sleeving is a must, and though sealable inners are an ideal candidate for anyone of the pizza persuasion, a hearty outer sleeve able to take the brunt of the cheesy barrage is key.
Unlike the standard stretch test, the cheesy challenge won’t awaken anything inside you besides hunger. Simply double sleeve your favorite commander deck and play a game as you would on any standard playmat. Once the hours-long process of deciding on a victor has been completed, examine your glistening pile of slippery spells for any signs of damage.
Repeat as necessary with various sleeves from different manufacturers. In our testing we found Ultimate Guard’s Katana sleeves to be best suited for pizza pie play, though one of our basic lands ended the match with a pepperoni wedged in the outer sleeve.