ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. — Member of local EDH pod asked if the rest of the playgroup wanted to play another game. The other’s lack of response has led to a deafening silence around the table, sources confirmed.
“I really, didn’t,” said Harleigh Woodcock, 27. “We’ve been trying to get the other players decks to an even power level since Jason basically wins by turn three or four every single game. It just isn’t fun. As much as I wanted to call it a night, we only played one game which, because of Jason’s deck, was only about 10 minutes into the night’s session. You want to have fun, but you also want to be invited back and bailing right after you start is a surefire way to get replaced. So naturally I stayed quiet, eyeing the rest of the pod, telepathically shouting at them to be the one to end it.”
Woodcock wasn’t the only one dreading the idea of playing another round.
“If you boil it down, Jason was asking if we wanted to take the time to shuffle up our decks so we could watch him play solitaire until the rest of us are dead, figuratively and literally. I don’t know how he doesn’t understand what ‘we’re playing upgraded pre-cons on retail employee budgets‘ means. Every time we mention it to him, he kind of just stares and his eyes begin to glaze over as if the words are passing over him like an autumn breeze. I proposed pitching in to get him to chase an OG dual land tied to a riding mower in order to get him away from the table long enough for the rest of us to run an enjoyable game. I still think it’s a solid plan. I can’t very well say that out loud, so I’m going to hope someone else does.”
Woefully unaware of the playgroup’s feelings about the imbalance in power level, Jason Holding maintains his ignorance, either purposefully or unintentionally.
“I don’t think it’s that difficult a question to answer,” Holding said. “Either they want to play again, or they don’t. They keep looking to each other waiting for someone else to be the one to answer. I don’t mind too much because it gives me an opportunity to show them just how efficient my combo deck is through goldfishing. I assume most of them are just trying to process what a brilliant player and deck builder I am. It’s not too surprising that they’re left speechless when my deck pops off.”
At time of press the rest of the playgroup decided to show up with proxied cEDH decks to match Holding’s power level, but he responded by saying it’s unfair to him since he stole his parent’s credit card fair and square to afford his deck.