A group of friends taking a break from playing Magic: The Gathering decided to play Fuck, Marry, Kill with the cards they top-decked from their cEDH decks. While playing the friends discovered something they have in common, a Thragtusk kink.
“I thought we were just going to do the human planeswalkers,” Daniel Smith said. “I mean one of the reasons I play MTG is due to my, uh, particular tastes so I hoped we’d stick to stuff that’s legal in all fifty states to avoid being put on a list somewhere. Everything was going fine–you know the obvious–everyone wanting to fuck Teferi and Chandra. Everyone wanted to kill Nicol Bolas and Davvol. Except Craig, that freak.”
It wasn’t long before the game ran out of legendary characters and a few drinks later, the unnamed creatures were drawn.
“It wasn’t weird at first,” Deborah Jenson said. “There are a lot of sexy merfolk out there and plenty of phyrexians people wanted to kill, except Craig who apparently wants to have a three-way with Grist and Crovax. Obviously, you don’t really have a choice but to marry Wrenn. But then Craig drew Thragtusk everyone sort of paused and avoided eye contact.”
The friends all wrote their answers on their whiteboards, then counted to three and held up their answers.
“I was hoping I wasn’t the only one, though I was really surprised to see a unanimous ‘fuck’ on every board. We had a good laugh. All in all, the experience really helped us bond, showing us we can be open and honest about our feelings without worrying about judgment. In the end I think everyone walked away from it feeling a bit freer.”
The friends rounded out the night with a high stakes game of EDH where the first person to be knocked out had to read Craig’s 100-page MTG erotic fanfiction and write a full book report. We’re told things got fairly ugly.