My Mom’s Foundations Set Review: “Vivien Reid Needs to Put On a Jacket”
Foundations is a new Magic: The Gathering set that brings a host of new cards, stunning artwork, and familiar characters….
Trump Appoints Yawgmoth Surgeon General
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President-elect Donald Trump announced today the appointment of Yawgmoth as Surgeon General of the United States. Yawgmoth,…
Opinion: Competitive Magic: The Gathering Could Become America’s New Favorite Pastime if it Had a Little More Congratulatory Ass Slapping
Let’s face it: Magic: The Gathering has all the components of a great American sport—it’s competitive, strategic, expensive, and boasts…
Vatican Claims ‘Modern Day Miracle’ After Cash for ‘Foundations’ Booster Box Suddenly Materializes for Broke Roommate
VATICAN CITY — In what is being hailed as a “modern day miracle,” the Vatican released a statement Wednesday after…
Magic: The Gathering Enthusiast, Sensing Nearby Mate, Sprouts Colorful Plumage of Alpha Basics
PORTLAND, O.R. — Local Magic: The Gathering pro Jeremy Wells reportedly sprouted a vibrant plumage of Alpha basic lands upon…
“Mhm. Okay. Yup.” EDH Newcomer Just Going To Pretend They Understood All That
AUSTIN, TX — During a local Commander night, newcomer Tracy Goldman reportedly spent an entire evening masquerading as an experienced…
So Sweet: MTG Veteran Seen Regurgitating Partially Digested Starter Deck Into Newcomer’s Mouth
BOISE, I.D. — In a heartwarming display of mentorship and community spirit, local Magic: The Gathering veteran Jake Phillips was…
All MTG Mechanics are Kicker? What About The One That Directs Me to Throw a Hysterical Fit?
BALTIMORE, Md. – Local Magic: The Gathering player, Alex Henderson’s recent rant about how every MTG mechanic is just a…
Russian Forces Flee After Gargantuan Carly Mazur Faithless Looting Begins its Advance
DONETSK, Ukraine — Russian forces reportedly fled in terror after Ukraine’s giant Mazur Faithless Looting began its slow advance into…
In Response to High Demand, Wizards of the Coast Ups Production of Secret Lair x Dungeons & Dragons to Twenty-Eight Whole Units
RENTON, W.A. — Amidst the surge in demand, described as “completely foreseeable by literally everyone,” Wizards of the Coast has…